A scorecard for women who stopped checking years ago
The conventional wisdom mostly works, though only up to a point, especially around Richmond. If you enjoy your job, pay matters less. A decent manager, meaningful work and colleagues you trust count for more than a few extra percentage points, and chasing every dollar can leave people worn out. Plenty of women who jumped ship for 15% more are now less happy at a higher salary.
But there is a catch. Caring about your job is precisely when you are most likely to be paid below market, since the people setting your salary can see how much you care.
1. Loyalty gets priced in
Salaries are not determined by what you have earned. They reflect what it would cost to replace you, adjusted for how likely you are to walk out the door. McKinsey and LeanIn's 2025 report found that just 54% of companies treat women's advancement as a top priority, and the companies that don't are unlikely to volunteer a fix. Three signs point this way: you have not had one outside conversation in three years, every raise you have received matched the standard percentage, and no one has ever made you a counteroffer because you have never given them a reason to.
2. The work expanded, but the pay didn't
Research cited in The No Club found that at one professional-services firm, women logged roughly 200 more hours a year than men on work that does not earn promotions, and they were asked to take it on about 50% more often. Liking your work can quietly make it harder to ask for more. Three signs: your responsibilities grew without a new title, you are training colleagues who you suspect earn more than you, and the planning, the meeting notes and the offsite logistics keep landing on your desk while no one tracks them.
3. Pay benchmarks shifted in Central Virginia while your attention was elsewhere
A growing number of states now require posted pay ranges, so the market is visible to anyone who checks, and you may not have checked. Three signs: a new hire at your level started above you, a recruiter quoted a figure that caught you off guard, or you cannot name the pay band for your own role, let alone where you fall inside it.
Situations in which the traditional guidance still holds in RVA
Do not walk away from a job you love for an extra 5%. That guidance only becomes a problem when you use it to avoid checking what the figures actually say. Caring about your work and understanding its market value can, and should, go hand in hand. Women who are paid fairly in jobs they enjoy are usually the ones who kept their pay information current while staying put.
What comes next
Rate yourself using the nine signs listed above. Three or fewer, and you are likely in good shape; review it once a year. Four to six, and your pay may be slipping; spend thirty minutes this week checking three posted ranges for your title in the Richmond market and note the midpoint. Seven or more, and you are effectively subsidizing your employer, and affection for your work is not a budget line.
Next, during a routine one-on-one, calmly raise this with your manager: "I'd like to understand where I fall in the salary range for my level, and what it would take to reach the midpoint." Asking this is not a threat to leave. You are asking a question about the numbers, and a manager who avoids answering it has answered it anyway.
Out of the nine, how many did you check off?